We Have A Kangaroo On The Loose In Florida!!!
(Source)- There is a runaway kangaroo in Jupiter Farms and crews from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission are out looking for it. The kangaroo is named Storm, according to the FWC.
CBS12 spoke with FWC who said they’re not releasing the name of the person who owns the kangaroo. CBS12 reporter Niala Charles spoke to a man who owns an animal sanctuary on 101st Street who says the kangaroo belongs to him.
Lets fucking roll baby! Nothing gets the internet’s blood pumping like a good old fashioned animal chase. It doesn’t matter if it’s a cow escaping a New York slaughterhouse, 100 goats taking over an Idaho neighborhood, or two llamas riding or dying together in Arizona. Animals successfully escaping their human oppressors in the hope of freedom will always move the needle.
But when you have an animal as awesome as a kangaroo involved in a jailbreak, true internet magic can happen. Tracking down plodding, grazing, barnyard animals is tough enough. But trying to saddle a spring-legged, hopping marsupial with crazy Aussie blood pumping through it’s veins along with the willingness to drop the gloves and chuck knucks with a human turns the difficulty from Pro to All Madden.
And lets not discount the setting of this escape, The Sunshine State AKA America’s Dick AKA A Blogger’s Best Friend, swampy ol’ Florida. Now any outcome is on the table. We could get a kangaroo vs. alligator fight, a meth head attempting to eat the kangaroo’s face off, or potentially a Florida Man reproducing with the kangaroo and creating an entirely new species. Florida is the ultimate wildcard in all this and I will make sure to update this story as it develops.